Rain
by Maho-chan
Summary: A moment that could have happened between Tsukasa and Tsukushi after the end of the Hana Yori Dango Manga Volume 21. [Oneshot]


Also submitted to the 10hugs Live Journal Community, Set #1, Theme #8: Storm.

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**Rain**  
**A Hana Yori Dango Fanfiction  
By Maho-chan**

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**_Disclaimer: I don't own Hana Yori Dango. Characterizations based upon the Hana Yori Dango Manga Volume 21. This story also includes spoilers for Volume 21. _

_AN (6/19/06): Happy Summer everyone! I've been rereading the HYD manga and had the idea for this story. I originally intended for this to be a short drabble for 100 words but it became 7 pages, so I decided to post this story as a one-shot instead. Anyway, I was inspired while rereading manga volume 21 and as a result of reading posts on the Live Journal Community 5(underscore)nevers, which is a challenge community where writers write situations that never happened in the original story._

_Here we go, hope you enjoy! This is a rewrite of the ending of Volume 21._

_-Maho-chan :) _

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It had been a dark and stormy night. The cold rain pelted Tsukushi's exhausted body as she faced a very concerned Tama.

"Many times I felt that I loved Domyoji." Tsukushi cried, wiping her tears away with her hands. Tama gasped, looking at her with sad, understanding eyes. Tsukushi covered her mouth, and cried harder. It seemed like her tears would never end.

It was over between them, Tsukasa was gone, having wandered away from her in shock after Tsukushi had told him she was leaving and cutting ties with him. And here she was standing with all her bags at her feet, getting ready to walk away from Tsukasa's life forever. Tsukushi rubbed at her eyes. The realization of what she had done, how she had hurt him, and the understanding of the finality of the situation caused her to feel almost physical pain. Standing there in the rain, Tsukushi also realized that she was probably speaking to Tama for the last time as well.

Tama held her umbrella over Tsukushi's head and hers, and replied in a soft voice

"Say what you just said again, you foolish girl."

"W-Why?" Tsukushi asked stammering and sniffling

"Because you should at least tell the truth to me, because I am your sempai. You owe me this."

Tsukushi stared for a moment, and then said in a wavering voice.

"I love him Tama. I love him so much."

"Speak louder." Tama replied, staring intensely.

"Why?" Tsukushi asked quietly.

"Just do it, you silly girl. This is my advice. If you don't tell the truth to someone out loud, you will feel this pain inside of you forever. You will never let it go. I am your sempai. You should listen to me. And I am telling you to say the truth loudly." Tama said, looking grim.

"I love him." Tsukushi said a little louder, her tears still trailing down her cheeks. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, and in the quiet that followed, Tama's voice seemed so loud.

"No, that's not how you confess. Speak LOUDER." Tsukushi winced as Tama barked orders at her.

'Was this really was this going to help?' Tsukushi wondered. She tried again, unable to resist Tama's strange request.

"I love him." Tsukushi spoke, trying to be louder.

"That's still not good enough. Knowing you, maybe I am the last person who will get to hear this confession from you. Now say it so that it can be heard."

"Tama-sempai, I don't think..." Tsukushi replied, feeling reluctant.

"DO IT." Tama ordered firmly. "Get it off your chest."

Tsukushi considered what Tama had said. It would be the last time she would admit her feelings. And after she was finished she would put it behind her and let it go. It might help to say it, if only to momentarily relieve the strange achy feeling in her chest. Tsukushi nodded, finally convinced. She'd do it if it would take away the emotional and physical pain that she wished would fade.

"I LOVE DOMYOJI." Tsukushi cried loudly.

"Is that all?" Tama asked expectantly, leaning on her cane.

"No, it isn't. I love how he is stupid and arrogant, sweet and kind. I love his smile and I love his frowns. I love him." Tsukushi burst into tears again. "I love him Tama-sempai."

"Good girl." Tama patted her on the back. "It's time for me to go now." Before turning to leave, Tama nodded and then made a strange beckoning motion, staring into the distance at some point behind Tsukushi.

Tsukushi barely had a moment to wonder what it meant, when she felt a hand on her arm. The hand pulled her backwards so that she turned and Tsukushi gasped as she came face to face with Tsukasa.

Tsukasa's hands moved to grip the lapels of Tsukushi's uniform jacket as Tsukushi let out a little cry. She glanced at his face and then looked away.

She didn't want to see his pained expression, she couldn't meet his eyes.

Tsukushi cried, looking down at his shoes and at the still water of the puddles on the ground. The rain had stopped.

Tsukasa gripped her jacket harder, pulling her closer, his heavy breathing sounding loud in the silence that followed that ceasing of the rain. Tsukushi bent her head, continuing to avoid his gaze.

Her tears wouldn't stop. She couldn't look at him, she couldn't face him. Not when the expression on his face showed her so much longing.

"If I loved you, I couldn't leave you like this." Tsukasa said quietly, his hands shaking. Leaning down so that his face was close to hers, he continued

"That's what you said. You said that you never loved me. Say it again."

"I n-never loved you." Tsukushi echoed, her eyes closing.

She whimpered as Tsukasa kissed her cheek, his breath warm against her skin. He brushed his lips against her closed eyelids, her forehead and finally, her lips.

"Tell me again how you don't love me." Tsukasa whispered as he wrapped his arms around Tsukushi's waist.

"I don't want to. What are you trying to do? You are being strange." Tsukushi trembled.

"Say it again." Tsukasa ordered.

"I don't love you." Tsukushi said as he pulled her up against him. "Domyoji. Stop asking me. It hurts. I can't…" Tsukushi sobbed.

Tsukasa kissed Tsukushi deeply, holding her close. His wet hair brushed her forehead as her tears wet his face.

"You said you don't love me." He said quietly. "But I am not going to believe you. You aren't leaving. You are going to stay with me. I am going to stay with you."

"No. It's not going to work." Tsukushi whispered. She unconsciously gripped Tsukasa's shoulders, clenching her fists in the damp fabric of his jacket. "It won't work. I can't stay…"

"I will make it work." Tsukasa murmured, kissing her ear. "We will make it work."

"Your mother will ruin my friends. She'll hurt them. I can't let her do that. I can't."

"But you'll let her ruin me? And you'll let yourself hurt me?" Tsukasa asked plaintively.

"Stop." Tsukushi wailed as he kissed her face. "Stop it."

"No. I won't stop." Tsukasa said, leaning back to look at her. "Makino, look at me." He ordered.

"No." Tsukushi replied, closing her eyes, tears still trailing down her cheeks. "I won't look at you. I_ can't_ look at you."

Tsukasa stared at Tsukushi intently, as the moon began to show through the clouds.

"Makino, you idiot. You foolish..."

At the sound of his moaned insults, Tsukushi opened her eyes. The moonlight played over them, lighting his face with ethereal light.

"Coward." Tsukasa finished, scowling at her now.

Tsukushi stared back at him. Facing him, facing the hurt she had caused him was pain.

"Domyoji."

"Didn't I tell you your luck was good because you are with me? Didn't I tell you I'd protect you?

"You said that. But what about the people I have to protect? What about them?"

"I'll protect them too."

"How?"

"I will find a way. You'll have to trust me."

"Domyoji, I have to leave. Your mother said..."

"You are trying to be a Maitre'd." Tsukasa said abruptly, interrupting her in mid sentence.

"What?" Tsukushi blinked, feeling slightly confused.

"Like that Joan of Arc. You know." Tsukasa explained. "Someone who makes big sacrifices. Maybe to protect people. Or maybe to save people."

"Oh, you mean a martyr." Tsukushi said, understanding what he was trying to say.

"That's what I meant." Tsukasa continued. "And if you are going to try and be a martyr like Joan of Arc, and protect everyone, then aren't you going to try and protect me too?"

"I…" Tsukushi gaped at him.

"Or am I not worthy of that kind of sacrifice?" Tsukasa asked thoughtfully, looking away from her into the distance. "Because you don't love me?"

"Stop saying that I don't love you." Tsukushi moaned, leaning her forehead against his chest. "Stop it."

"No." Tsukasa said grimly, looking down at her as Tsukushi pressed her face against his chest. "Because you don't love me, you'll let _me _suffer. Because you don't love me, you are going to _leave_ _me_. And because you don't love me…" Tsukasa stopped mid sentence as Tsukushi looked up and covered his mouth with her hands.

"Stop it." Tsukushi said urgently, unable to stand his words anymore. "Stop it." She said again as Tsukasa glared at her over the hand that was covering half of his face. Tsukasa mumbled something against her fingers and feeling frantic, Tsukushi shouted at him. "DON'T SAY THAT!"

"STOP!" She yelled, her eyes filling with tears again. "Don't say anymore!" The tears spilled over and down her cheeks.

"Please." Tsukushi implored him, sobbing uncontrollably.

Tsukasa's eyes softened. Slowly, Tsukushi's arms relaxed, her hands falling away from Tsukasa's mouth.

"Makino." Tsukasa said quietly, holding her shoulders. "If we are going to be equals like you requested, then don't you think you should trust me? Are we being equals when I trust you, but you don't trust me?

"No." Tsukushi replied, starting to realize the truth in his words. The wind blew a little harder, the clouds moving, the moonlight slowly shifting in and out around them.

Tsukasa caressed her cheek, bending down to kiss her. "And are we being equals when I tell you I love you and you won't say that you love me?"

"No." Tsukushi whispered, closing her eyes and moving to meet his lips.

Tsukasa paused, just inches from kissing her "Then say it. Be equal to me."

"Domyoji."

"Makino, I love you so much. Stop hurting me." Tsukasa brushed his lips against hers lightly. "Tell me you love me." He whispered urgently, pressing his forehead to hers.

"Domyoji." Tsukushi whimpered, wrapping her arms around his neck. Tsukasa smiled painfully and nuzzled her with his nose.

"I don't want to leave you." Tsukushi said, overcome with emotion.

"And if you want to be Joan of Arc, if you want to be a martyr and protect something…" Tsukasa groaned, pressing his face against her neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist. His voice was slightly muffled, but the meaning of the words he spoke next was loud and clear.

"Then tell me that you love me and _save me."_

Tsukushi gasped, crying silently and gazing up at the sky. The wind still blew around them. But all the clouds were now gone. Gripping the fabric of his collar and leaning further into his embrace, Tsukushi considered what Tsukasa had said.

He had asked her to protect him. He had asked her to _save him_.

Tsukushi had always thought Tsukasa lived on his own strength of character and spirit.

She had never thought that she might be of any importance to his survival. But here they were in each other's arms, Tsukasa holding Tsukushi tightly as though he was deathly afraid of letting her go.

They continued to embrace in the moonlight, their clothes damp and clinging to their bodies. Tsukasa shook slightly. Tsukushi shivered.

The warm, wet feeling she repeatedly felt on the soft skin of her neck was something Tsukushi had never expected from him. His tears soaked into the already damp collar of her school uniform, his fingers clutching the material of her jacket. Tsukasa said her name incoherently as he cried, and Tsukushi realized that he was right about her. She had never thought to protect him; she had never considered how her leaving him would affect him. She had only thought of her friends and a little of herself.

She had never thought of _him_.

Realizing the selfishness of her actions, Tsukushi felt deep regret.

She had loved Tsukasa but she hadn't let herself _care_ about him.

It was time for that to end.

"Domyoji." Tsukushi said, turning her head to kiss his ear. "Domyoji, are you listening to me?"

Tsukasa shuddered and replied hoarsely "Yeah."

"I'm going to do my best. I'm not going to leave." Tsukushi whispered, gathering up her nerve.

"That's good." Tsukasa said his voice breaking. He kissed the soft skin of her neck. "What else?"

"I-I'm going to trust you." Tsukushi murmured, running her fingers through his hair.

"I'm glad." Tsukasa replied, rubbing her back. "It's about time." He said, sighing. Tsukasa pulled away to kiss Tsukushi's temple, and then pressed his cheek against hers. Tsukushi sighed too. They held each other, savoring the embrace.

"And Domyoji?" Tsukushi broke the silence after a while.

"Yeah?" He mumbled back, going still.

"I love you." Tsukushi said, pulling away and looking him in the eye. Tsukasa gazed back at her, and smiled. Tsukushi brought her fingers to his face and wiped away the remnants of his tears. She began sobbing anew when Tsukasa's eyes teared up again and brimmed over. Reaching for him, pulling him close, Tsukushi leaned in to kiss him. Right before her lips met his, Tsukasa breathed his reply.

"I love you too."

The moon was full, the night was dark and the wind was little bit cold. But the rain had stopped.

And hope had finally shown through.

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_AN (6/19/06): Maitre'd is French for "head waiter"._

"_Many times I have felt that I loved Domyoji." And "If I loved you, I couldn't leave you like this." Are direct quotes from a translation of Manga Volume 21, and are from HYD manga translations I found via scans on the internet. Unfortunately, a direct reference to who translated the scenes I viewed cannot be made. _

_While writing this story, I realized after writing Tsukasa's dialogue comparing Tsukushi to Joan of Arc that I vaguely remember Kamio-sensei making some comparison of Tsukushi and Joan of Arc in one of the early manga volumes. Right now I cannot remember which volume it is. :) I leave it for you guys to find (or not find if I am mistaken) when you reread the HYD manga. _

_Also, I am glad that the ending for Volume 21 wasn't this ending, because Kamio-sensei of course wrote many more manga volumes and resolved this conflict in an interesting way. But it was fun to try my hand at what could have happened, and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it._

_--Maho-chan :) (6/19/06)_


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